Last year I had the privilege to visit the garden of Gethsemane, which lies in a valley between the Mount of Olives and the city walls of Jerusalem. After dinner, Jesus went to Gethsemane with a few disciples to pray, anticipating the suffering ahead. There, in the shadows of the old olive trees in the cool of the evening, he wrestled with his impending suffering. We see his body sweat in deep distress. We see him vulnerable and in need of his friends. The giver and lover of life faced with suffering and death! Fear arises in his body designed for living, a deep sense of vulnerability, and a need for a reliable band of friends. Seeing him there, sweating, vulnerable and needy, I know that he knows...he knows my fear, my sweat, my vulnerability and need as I get ready to face risk and suffering. His whole humanity pleads with God for the chalice to pass him by. His whole divinity surrenders to love, the love of the Father, and to fulfill the purposes of his loving Father. I sense the enormity of the shift from fear to love. As I look forward with trepidation towards the suffering that is coming our way, I feel known and accepted in my human fear, and invigorated by Christ's choice to love. I notice his determination to get up and face the beginning of his suffering, his resolved and relaxed posture, and I remember that he does not leave me alone in this. His Spirit is in me, giving me hope that everyday I will find strength and resolve to go to work and face what comes with a love far beyond mine.
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